dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
