i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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