Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize