Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
