You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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