just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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