So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
