So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
