Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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