Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
