Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Barsexuality is the new black.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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