lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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