Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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