Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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