Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
