White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
