There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
