Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
