I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
