I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
