TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
