Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
