hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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