just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize