shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
