My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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