remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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