you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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