I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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