Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
