i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
