with your own penis?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize