this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
