Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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