I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize