She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
