I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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