think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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