You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
