I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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