"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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