I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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