okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
