I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
