lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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