What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
