Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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