Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize