I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
