can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
