I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
