in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
