its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my being single is dangerous.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
