Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
