Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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