well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
