If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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