I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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