Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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