I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize