I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
